I have no idea where he is. I don’t know whether he is alive or dead but I cannot believe he is dead. He is such a survivor; so strong, so intelligent, so impressive in every way that I just can’t believe someone could have outsmarted him and killed him. Or maybe it was an accident.
But I do know that Bren is either dead or doesn’t care that I am here because if he is alive and he wants me, he’ll take me and there’s nothing that Mr. Negulesco – as strong and impressive as he himself is – could do about it. Bren gets what he wants. The thought that Bren wants me to be here or at least doesn’t care that I is almost as painful as the idea that he is dead. There’s just no way that he’d let so many men do so many things to his girl.
His girl? No, not really, my dear diary. Not in that way, anyway. His love’s name is Flame and I’ll tell you about her too one day. But right now I need to talk about Bren because I dreamt about him last night and it was so wonderful to see him again. But then I woke up and realized it was just a dream. He is not here; he is gone. I need someone to talk to about him and you are such a great listener, sweet diary.
I met Bren a few years ago when I was on the run from Utopia (I’ll tell you about him too one day, of course). I was in a little coffee shop and a man was kind to me, so very kind, and before I knew it was at his house.
It was scary at first, I’ll admit. I had thought that this kind man was either just being nice or maybe liked me and wanted me as his girlfriend. In any case, I wasn’t expecting to be locked into a little attic room in his house! But Bren soon explained everything and told me that Utopia would surely come looking for me and it would be much safer if I’m in the attic and the door is locked. It made sense, so I happily agreed.
The room was so charming. There was even a fireplace! Bren brought me delicious food three tines a day and new clothes to wear. The clothing was a little small for me but he said he didn’t have much experience buying women’s stuff (and why should he!) and it was too dangerous for me to come to the stores with him so these clothes would have to do for now. Continue reading