How to be Sexy

What makes someone sexy? And I don’t mean, “What makes someone good-looking?” That is a different subject. I mean sexy. Go home with. Have sex with. Do deliciously disgusting acts of depravity with…

It’s more than good looks, in my opinion. Actually, I think that being sexy has very little to do with being physically attractive. The two can go together, but they don’t have to.


Many years ago I met a man in a bar. I remember feeling a little sorry for him because he was really rather ugly and he was sitting alone and I imagined that he would be going home alone too. He saw me looking at him and he stared back with an incredibly intense gaze while motioning me to come over. I was embarrassed that he had caught me staring at him so I went over to apologize but he told me to sit down at the table with him. I did so. Something about his tone of voice made me do what he said.

We chatted and he was a pleasant and fun guy but my eyes would keep straying to other – really cute – men in the room. Each time I looked at a guy he told me not to. When I asked him why I shouldn’t look at other men, he said that he had told me not to, that’s all. Intrigued, I did it on purpose, no longer wanting to see the men, but to see his reaction. He gave me a couple of warnings saying that I would be sorry later if I continued, but when I did continue he just smiled.

The more we chatted the more he fascinated me and – turned me on. So many things he said, and the way he said them, really had an effect on me and I started to really want him to try and make a move and kiss or touch me. He was really sexy! He made me feel sexy. He made me want sex. He made me want sex with him.

So I went home with him. And I wasn’t disappointed.

We didn’t set up a safe word (I hadn’t known there was such a thing) and we didn’t discuss what was going to happen. I was too turned on (and probably too young, naive and stupid) to be scared. He asked me if I’d ever been whipped before and I replied that a few boyfriends had played around with that type of thing but that I’d never been hit hard. I explained that I found the idea exciting but that I’d never met a man who was really into it.

He smiled and nodded. Then told me to lie face down on the bed and not to move. I obeyed. He asked me if I remembered how I had continued to look at other men even after he had told me not to. I said that I did. He showed me a leather flogger. I had just enough time to see it before feeling it. He waited before striking me again (I think he wanted to check my reaction and make sure that I wasn’t going to freak out) then he hit again, and again. One time, he explained, for each time I had disobeyed.

It hurt, of course, but it was also amazingly exciting and the sex we had afterwards was incredible. It’s funny, I don’t remember much about the rest of the night, but one thing he said has stayed with me. He told me that most men whip a girl all over her body; he chose to deliver each blow in exactly the same place so that it would hurt more and more each time. That made me tingle.


I knew another man who was the opposite. He was gorgeous and, physically speaking, my ideal man. Wavy blond hair, perfect blue/gray eyes, tall and fit body. He even had a good sense of humor and was interesting to talk to. But he just wasn’t sexy. There was nothing sexual about him. I loved hanging out with him so I could just stare at his face all evening but I had no desire to sleep with him. His eyes were beautiful, but empty. His expression said, “I like to have sex under the covers with the lights off. Actually, no, I don’t like to have at all. Let’s just chat.

On the other hand, looking into the eyes of  Mr. Ugly-Sexy I could read, “You will come home with me now and I will force you to endure the best sex you have had in months.”


What is your opinion? How is it that some people have a constant sexual aura about them, even when they are just talking and acting normally? Is it their scent, body language, or something else entirely?

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  1. Pete says:

    I would have to say what you have here is a thing about confidence. The ugly guy was confident that he could and would have sex with you if you just heard him out. The other guy just thought that you would want to have sex with him. I’m not an expert but I would say that might be one cause.

    • Charlotte says:

      Hi Pete, Yes, I think you are right. Confidence can be very sexy if it doesn’t come across as arrogance. It also helped that he was funny and interesting to talk to. He sort of tricked me, in a way, by being fun and sexy when I wasn’t expecting him to be.

      But it was the way he talked to me – and above all looked at me – that really turned me on and made me see him as sexy. And that, I think, has little to do with the way a man looks and everything to do with his personality. I wonder though, how true this holds for women.

  2. grey goose says:

    Great story, I like the “every man” stories. I tend to be outspoken and full of false confidence. At times it works other times its good for just a laugh. Once again enjoy the story now off to read the others.

  3. Bren says:

    I have to agree with those who speak of confidence as a determinant of sexy. What makes the woman an object of desire is another matter…perhaps it is the conquest. Perhaps it is looks. I wonder what primal attractants we don’t consciously even know of play into our quests.

    I know that looks seem important, but I have seen mismatched couples over the years. A very attractive (yes, I know it is subjective) man and average woman…very attractive woman and less so man…

    I do think that on some level, it is instinct. Looks, scent, personality… Just my two cents worth.

    • Charlotte says:

      Hi Bren, yes, that’s very true! There are so many different things that can make someone sexy. How he or she smells, dresses, walks, speaks, to name just a few. I find that the way I feel when I’m with a man makes a huge difference; if he makes me feel like I’m the boss I’m not as interested as if he makes it obvious that he is in control.

  4. Jenny Swallows says:

    He really was “just a guy”… I’d see him around town occasionally – we took the same bus to work, we occasionally stopped at the same coffee place at lunch time, we’d browse the same magazine store… “just a guy.” Until one day I wondered why I always noticed him, and not any of the many other “just a guy”s who I probably walked past every day. It wasn’t his clothes, because they were nondescript; it wasn’t his looks, which I doubt I could have picked out of a line-up; it wasn’t his personality, because we’d never even made eye contact, let alone spoken. It was just… him.

    And when I stopped seeing him every day, I regretted never having walked over to say hello, because whatever it is you’re talking about, I realized (too late) that he had it.

    • Charlotte says:

      Hi Jenny, What a shame you didn’t get to meet him. I wonder what he was like… Is there any chance that you will see him again?

      When I was much younger I saw a guy around really often and after a few weeks of just staring I finally plucked up the courage to talk to him. But as soon as I did I was disappointed; he didn’t look the same close up and he didn’t talk or act as I had imagined he would.

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