It’s more than good looks, in my opinion. Actually, I think that being sexy has very little to do with being physically attractive. The two can go together, but they don’t have to.
Many years ago I met a man in a bar. I remember feeling a little sorry for him because he was really rather ugly and he was sitting alone and I imagined that he would be going home alone too. He saw me looking at him and he stared back with an incredibly intense gaze while motioning me to come over. I was embarrassed that he had caught me staring at him so I went over to apologize but he told me to sit down at the table with him. I did so. Something about his tone of voice made me do what he said.
We chatted and he was a pleasant and fun guy but my eyes would keep straying to other – really cute – men in the room. Each time I looked at a guy he told me not to. When I asked him why I shouldn’t look at other men, he said that he had told me not to, that’s all. Intrigued, I did it on purpose, no longer wanting to see the men, but to see his reaction. He gave me a couple of warnings saying that I would be sorry later if I continued, but when I did continue he just smiled.
The more we chatted the more he fascinated me and – turned me on. So many things he said, and the way he said them, really had an effect on me and I started to really want him to try and make a move and kiss or touch me. He was really sexy! He made me feel sexy. He made me want sex. He made me want sex with him.
So I went home with him. And I wasn’t disappointed.
We didn’t set up a safe word (I hadn’t known there was such a thing) and we didn’t discuss what was going to happen. I was too turned on (and probably too young, naive and stupid) to be scared. He asked me if I’d ever been whipped before and I replied that a few boyfriends had played around with that type of thing but that I’d never been hit hard. I explained that I found the idea exciting but that I’d never met a man who was really into it.
He smiled and nodded. Then told me to lie face down on the bed and not to move. I obeyed. He asked me if I remembered how I had continued to look at other men even after he had told me not to. I said that I did. He showed me a leather flogger. I had just enough time to see it before feeling it. He waited before striking me again (I think he wanted to check my reaction and make sure that I wasn’t going to freak out) then he hit again, and again. One time, he explained, for each time I had disobeyed.
It hurt, of course, but it was also amazingly exciting and the sex we had afterwards was incredible. It’s funny, I don’t remember much about the rest of the night, but one thing he said has stayed with me. He told me that most men whip a girl all over her body; he chose to deliver each blow in exactly the same place so that it would hurt more and more each time. That made me tingle.
I knew another man who was the opposite. He was gorgeous and, physically speaking, my ideal man. Wavy blond hair, perfect blue/gray eyes, tall and fit body. He even had a good sense of humor and was interesting to talk to. But he just wasn’t sexy. There was nothing sexual about him. I loved hanging out with him so I could just stare at his face all evening but I had no desire to sleep with him. His eyes were beautiful, but empty. His expression said, “I like to have sex under the covers with the lights off. Actually, no, I don’t like to have at all. Let’s just chat.
On the other hand, looking into the eyes of Mr. Ugly-Sexy I could read, “You will come home with me now and I will force you to endure the best sex you have had in months.”
What is your opinion? How is it that some people have a constant sexual aura about them, even when they are just talking and acting normally? Is it their scent, body language, or something else entirely?See More of Charlotte & Clara: