I feel so much better! It’s probably because somehow, miraculously, I have managed to spend the last two whole days without being hurt, touched or even spoken to in fact. It has been wonderfully quiet at the Retreat and I have used the time to rest and relax.
As you know, Mr. Kozlov told me to change my hair color because he prefers brunettes. I didn’t want to risk just wearing a wig and so when I found some semi-permanent dye I decided to use it. I sobbed silently as I poured the gloopy brown liquid all over my pretty blond locks. I like my blond hair! I didn’t want to change it and certainly not just because some stupid man tells me he prefers brown hair. So go find a brunette to play with!
Hee hee, can you tell I’m in a good mood? Well I am! I feel all fiesty and strong and happy and although I very much doubt it will last past the next time a man uses me, I intend on enjoying it to the full while it’s here!
So anyway, I sludged (is that a word? I don’t think so but I like the soud of it and so I will use it! Copy write mine!!!) Yes, I sludged the hair dye all over my head as per the instructions and using gloves of course and then rinsed it out as quickly as I could before hurriedly blowdrying my hair. I looked in the mirror and sighed. The color was attractive and my hair was beautifully shiny but I hardly recognized myself. How far would Mr. Kozlov and the other men go in changing me and how much of the real me would I be allowed to keep? I dried my tears and started to look for some clothes to wear for my hot date – as he put it – with Mr. Kozlov and as I did so I consoled myself with the fact that the dye is supposed to be semi-permanent and I would wash my hair every day until it faded.
I won’t tell you right now all about what happened that evening, dear sweet friend. I am in too good a mood and I know that if I start to think about that night I will get very sad and depressed. I want to stay happy for a few moments more.
The reason I am writing today is just about my hair. I actually like it now! Yup! Yesterday I was able to take a long, hot soak in the tub again but this time I was alone in the room and no men were waiting for me to pretend to be their girlfriend! I shampooed and rinsed my hair several times and lots of dye came out but the color hasn’t really faded much. After a while I gave up and tried to just accept the fact that I’d be brunette for a while. I braided it to get it out of the way while it dried (I prefer not to use the hairdryer as it’s really bad for the hair) and when I looked in the mirror I was surprised to realize that I actually like the way I looked! I grabbed a camera (there are always cameras around the place, unfortunately) and took a few pics which I have attached here. What do you think? Kind of cute, no? I’m so modest!!!
Well, I think I’ll sign off now and go and take a short nap. I can’t imagine I’ll be lucky enough to get three evenings in a row to myself and so I may as well get some rest before the awfulness begins.
Love from your little brunettte buddy,
Clara xxxSee More of Charlotte & Clara: