No Name

I don’t know his name and I hope I never find out. Oh, dearest, sweetest friend, last night was horrible!

Remember how I had said that I didn’t like that hut because of the bad memories connected to the place and how Taun had said we could make new, pleasant memories? Well, after having started to make those nice memories, some evil bastard comes along and ruins everything again.

Yes, bastard. I know, I’m using bad words more and more often and I hate that this place is changing me. But I can’t help it. I have to let out my anger and frustration some how and swearing is a safe way to do it. Unless of course I swear at one of the men but it doesn’t seem to matter what I do anyway, I still get into trouble and horrible things happen to me.

So, yesterday, I was just waking up and thinking about how lovely my previous evening with Taun had been. I was walking around the little hut, looking at the barrels and things along the wall, when a man started talking to me. He was odd. I couldn’t figure him out at all. There was something robotic about him; something unreal but this, unfortunately, definitely was real and not just a bad dream.

The man asked me lots of questions about the Retreat and the women who live here. He asked me if I live here too. I didn’t understand how he could be here if he didn’t know what sort of place this was, but then he told me that his friends had brought him here as a gift and told him that he could do whatever he liked to any woman he found. That made me vary wary, especially when he started to go into detail about the violent things his friends had assured him he could do to the girls here. He told me that he’d been drinking and there had been some sort of party going on at the Mansion and he’d seen and done things (which, of course, he went into great detail about but which I won’t repeat because they’re gross). He asked me if what he had seen and done could really be real or was it just a dream he’d had. How did he expect me to know that? Stupid man!

Then, just as I was starting to decide I would try and slowly, safely, get further away from this man, he went even more weird. He just stared at me. I could tell he was thinking something because his expression kept changing and I knew thoughts were going through his mind but I had no idea what he was thinking about or what he was planning on doing. I started to get annoyed with his irritating behavior and instead of just walking away, which I should have done and really, really wish I had done, I asked him to tell me what he was thinking about.

With an evil smile he said, “I was just thinking about what you’d look like NAKED.” And as he shouted the word naked, he reached out ripped my bra off me. I was so surprised and he was so quick that I didn’t have any chance of stopping him. But then I ran. I don’t know how he got me but I guess he knew I’d try and flee and was ready when I did. I felt him grab my wrist and pull me back. He tried to pull my panties off me but thankfully I was a bit quicker this time and he didn’t get a good grip. But it didn’t matter. I couldn’t pull free from his hold on my wrist and the next thing I knew I was being lifted in the air and carried over his shoulder, back to the hut.

I struggled, and kicked, and screamed and scratched at him but nothing I did seemed to make any difference. It was as if he didn’t hear or feel anything from me. If you told me he was an android I would believe you! But my actions did do something, unfortunately. When we arrived at the hut and he threw me onto that dirty mattress, my panties were no longer on me; I must have kicked them off in my struggling after he loosened them when he pulled at me.

He said something or laughed or something, I can’t remember. I was too busy screaming and fighting to pay any attention to anything except what his hands were trying to do to me. He was all over my skin and I can still feel him on me and it’s so disgusting. Somehow, while keeping me held down, he managed to remove his clothes and when I realized he was completely naked I tried even harder to get away. But he yanked me painfully by the hair and pulled my face to his, you know…

After he was satisfied with my mouth he pushed me roughly into another position. I was exhausted by then and could no longer fight him. I had barely been able to breathe and I felt weak from struggling and crying. I knew I would just let him do whatever he wanted to do next. But maybe he was bored by then, or maybe he had to go back to his friends, or maybe he didn’t enjoy it when I wasn’t struggling, but he suddenly stood up and said something like, “I need more time with you.” And he left. I can’t remember his exact words and I’m sure those aren’t them but I wasn’t really completely with it by that point.

I’m terrified he’ll come back to the Retreat. I hate him. I’m not even scared of him; I just hate him.

See More of Charlotte & Clara:

Leave a note about this post & I promise I won't tell Clara you read her diary *winks*