What am I going to do now?
Somebody please help me.
“Very good. I’m pleased with you Clara and you’ll be happy to know that Mr. Negulesco has confirmed today’s meeting, which means that our friends Karl and Tyr will no longer be visiting us. I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye; I know they will miss you but perhaps you won’t miss them quite as much?”
How could I reply to that? Of course I didn’t want to make Taun angry by insulting ‘our’ friends so I couldn’t say what I actually felt about them although I was sure Taun knew I hated them.
“Yes, thank you, Taun. I am so pleased that the meeting will be today. I can’t wait to have your ownership of me become official.” I hoped he didn’t pick up on the fact that I wasn’t really answering his question and that I definitely wasn’t bubbling with excitement at the prospect of belonging to him.
Taun looked at me. He seemed bothered, although not angry. He sat down on the edge of the cushion and stroked my cheek with his hand.
“Oh Clara. I know you’re scared. I know you’re probably less than enthusiastic about the idea of living with me forever. Your punishments were terrible. But I hope you will see that they were also very necessary. You have belonged to me from the moment I first saw you at the Retreat; you just didn’t know it then and I tried to teach you the nice way, the easy way, but you wouldn’t learn. So I had to use the hard way. But I think that now, at last, you realize you are mine and today’s meeting will simply make that official.”
I tried to control my fear. Yes, I was scared.
He leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the forehead. “But it won’t always be like this. You will see that life with me can be very, very pleasant for you. From now on you will only be punished as a direct result of any misbehavior and of course if you are good you will be rewarded. I do not trust you yet; the punishments served to teach you who you are and to make you pay for your mistakes but only time will earn you my trust. So you will remain chained to this cushion unless you are being given some specific duty. As time goes on and you show me that I can trust you, you may be permitted a little more freedom but you will always remain inside my house. The doors and windows are locked. If you try and get out you will not only be unsuccessful, you will make me very angry. And it’s probably a good idea to avoid doing that, don’t you think?”
I nodded. I would be a prisoner forever.
“I’m glad you agree. Now then, I’m going to make us some breakfast and then you will prepare yourself, in my presence, for the meeting. I want you to look good for Mr. Negulesco. He will probably want to use you one last time and I will grant him that right as a courtesy but after today no man will touch you ever again. Doesn’t that make you happy, Clara? From now on only I will see you naked, only I will fuck you. Your body is mine; only mine!”
The way he spoke frightened me. He seemed almost drunk on the idea of sole ownership of me.
He walked away and returned a short while later with food. After that he clipped the leash onto my collar then unchained my ankle and lead me to the bathroom. There he closed and locked the door before taking the leash off. I wondered why, if all the doors and windows were locked, he felt the need to lead me around as though I were a dog but I supposed it was partly because he knew I found it demeaning and partly to remind me that I was his owned pet.
But I’m not an animal! I’m me, I’m Clara, a person, a girl. I don’t belong to him or to anyone! He can brainwash me into saying whatever stupid phrases he wants to hear but he’ll never really make me believe I belong to him. I have to keep telling myself that he is wrong. I won’t let him invade my mind.
Taun made sure I washed and prepared my body and hair for Mr. Negulesco. He showed me which make up to use (too much) and which clothes to wear (too few). A pair of very high heels that were almost impossible to walk in finished off the outfit. Then we went outside where a limo was waiting for us and we were driven to go and meet Mr. Negulesco.
I feel asleep in the car. It was a very long drive and although I was scared I was still so exhausted from the past few weeks and I hadn’t had much sleep that night.
“Wake up, my dear, we’re here.” Taun’s voice was soft and kind and his hand stroked my hair with a gentle caress. I opened my eyes.
We got out of the car and were met by a man in a suit who asked us to follow him. We entered a very modern looking building, were waved through security, and took the elevator to the eighteenth floor. When the doors opened we were led along a hallway until we reached about the third or fourth door which the man opened for us and ushered us through. We were then standing in what looked like a large and comfortable waiting room. We followed the man through a couple more doors and then I saw him.
My breath caught in my throat and I felt as though he had somehow just stollen all the air from my lungs. I stared at Mr. Negulesco as he sat behind a huge wooden desk. He stood up to greet us and I realized that I was cowering behind Taun. Why was I afraid? He couldn’t hurt me now; I all but belonged to Taun and why would he damage property he was about to sell?
But it wasn’t exactly fear, anyway. It was that feeling I always get when I see Mr. Negulesco except that it had been so long since I’d seen him last that I’d forgotten what that feeling felt like and it seemed so much stronger now. I can never explain or understand it. He makes me tremble but it’s as though he also has some kind of power or hold over me because I cannot run and even worse than that, I don’t want to run. My body screams at me to get away from him yet at the same time seems to be trying all it can to get closer to him.
I suddenly realized Taun was glaring down at me. “Mr. Negulesco spoke to you, Clara. You will reply.” Continue reading →
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