Elust 93

aurora glory header elust 93
Photo courtesy of Aurora Glory

Welcome to Elust 93

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #94 Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A dress to die for

Pushing Past



~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Kink lite, Kink life


~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

The Contract

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Erotic Fiction

The Contract
Speaking Truth to a Submissive Heart
Subjugate U Continue reading →

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Najda & Shiroona

sexy girls touchingWell. What a different sort of evening that was!

I don’t know if we’ll get in big trouble for it, but it was so nice.

I was standing in the little library area, near the fireplace, looking for a new book to read. I don’t know why I bother as there are never any new titles there and I’ve read all of them at least three times, even the ones that don’t interest me. Anyway, last night was no different so I was trying to decide which book would be worth a forth reading when I heard a voice behind me.

“Excuse me. I’m sorry to interrupt you…”

It was a girl. Well, a woman really but she wasn’t much older than me. She was so elegant though! Despite being dressed only in her underwear, she stood tall and proud. And oh my, but she was tall! I know I’m fairly short (is 5 foot 2 inches short?) but this beautiful lady was easily 5 foot 9 or 10, maybe more. Anyway, she stood there smiling at me with a look of kindness in her eyes that made me feel happy. Remember that I told you no one except the most awful, most brutal and cruel of the men had spoke to me since Taun brought me back? And that none of the girls or women had even made eye contact with me let alone spoken to me? Well, then you can imagine how surprised and happy I was!

I tried to sound casual and friendly as I spoke to this lady. I was sure she’d remember who I was or be told off for talking to me and I desperately didn’t want her to leave.

“Oh it’s quite alright. You’re not disturbing me at all!”

“Do you see the woman sitting in the arm chair at the far end of the room?”

I looked around. “Yes, I can see her.”

“She has asked me to request that you join her. If you don’t mind.”

I frowned, very confused at both the request – as it came from a woman – and the fact that it was a request. But I wasn’t going to jeopardize the situation. I would be thrilled to spend the evening chatting with two women instead of being abused by a man!

“Of course I don’t mind!”

“Wonderful! Please follow me.”

We walked over to where the lady was lounging in one of the very comfortable arm chairs. She looked up and smiled as we approached.

“Here is the blonde girl you asked for.” Continue reading →

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Sticks and Stones

sexy girl cryingI think I am going to try and kill myself.

Oh, my sweetest friend, don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that. Not really. It’s just that I am so lonely, so desperate, so sad and I don’t know how things will ever get better. If Taun does come back for me I know it’ll only be a matter of weeks or maybe months before he brings me back to the Retreat again but he will bring me back and the pain will continue.

I haven’t seen Mr. Negulesco in weeks and although some of the men seem vaguely familiar most are complete strangers. I’ve even started wishing I could see Mr. Kozlov again! That is how desperate I am to see someone I know and to talk to someone who knows me!

I actually did see Mr. Kozlov the other day. I shrank back against the wall, hoping and praying he wouldn’t see me but when he didn’t seem to notice me I felt really strange. I tried to tell myself that I was relieved but… I don’t know. It’s probably just because I’m so lonely. I watched him for a while, holding my breath, sure and certain that he would just sense I was there but a tall, stunning brunette caught his eye and he made a beeline for her. They chatted for a while and although at first she seemed happy to see him, she definitely didn’t want to go anywhere with him so he put a collar around her neck and dragged her upstairs! About twenty minutes later I heard the most awful screams coming from the third floor.

I still haven’t been up to the third floor. It’s incredible to think that I’ve somehow managed to avoid that fate as yet and I don’t know how long that will hold true but until now I’ve never seen inside any rooms up there. I do know, however, from the stories and blood-curdling screams, that it’s a place of torture and agony and it terrifies me beyond words.

Talking of words, Mr. Negulesco left another notice up on the board today. There was a different one yesterday too which I’ve also included here. I wish I could forget them but sadly they are all too easy to memorize and write down for you to read and, I am sure, be appalled by. Here is the first one: Continue reading →

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I am an Object

sexy naked woman lying on beachI will not let him get to me. I will not let any of them get to me.

I am stronger than even I can know and I will find a way to escape from here. It may take forever but I will be free one day and until that day comes I will simply escape into my mind. They can force me to give them my body but I’ll never surrender my mind.

I am an Object.
I exist to please, to be used by cock, and to bring pleasure.
My body is not my own, and it never will be again.
I only exist to be a set of holes and tits to be used and abused however men desire.
I must never neglect to worship cock whether with my mouth, or my body.
This is my only purpose.

Say it. Believe it. Live it.

Carlo Negulesco
Retreat Director

I found the above words on the notice board today. Mr. Negulesco has written similar messages before but today’s one really got to me. I read it and then ran off in tears. Why? Because, for just a tiny-mini-micro second I actually started to believe those awful words. I could hear Mr. Negulesco’s voice in my ear as though he were whispering them to me.

But the words aren’t true; they are all lies. Even if Mr. Negulesco had been saying them out loud to me it wouldn’t have made any difference. Okay, I can’t lie to you, my dear friend, you know me too well! It would have made a bit of a difference. But the point is that I know I’m not just a set of holes and bits and pieces with which the men may do as they please. I am a girl! A person! And I won’t let these lies get to me and break me down.

But… I’m getting so desperate for someone to show me just a little kindness. Taun still hasn’t come for me and I’m wondering if he ever will. The only men who use me are the cruel, rough, brutal ones. I don’t even want pleasure now; I just want not-pain.

Why won’t anyone talk to me, even look at me, unless it’s to use my body? I just want to have a conversation with someone, anyone, about anything.

I am a person, aren’t I?

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to let myself believe some of the words on that notice. Wouldn’t it make my life so much easier to just accept my fate and stop fighting?

I want to be strong. I want to be the strong girl who doesn’t give up and who keeps on fighting against all odds.

But maybe it’s time to say goodbye to the strong girl and just be the girl.

See More of Charlotte & Clara:

The Contract

What am I going to do now?

Somebody please help me.


“Very good. I’m pleased with you Clara and you’ll be happy to know that Mr. Negulesco has confirmed today’s meeting, which means that our friends Karl and Tyr will no longer be visiting us. I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye; I know they will miss you but perhaps you won’t miss them quite as much?”

How could I reply to that? Of course I didn’t want to make Taun angry by insulting ‘our’ friends so I couldn’t say what I actually felt about them although I was sure Taun knew I hated them.

“Yes, thank you, Taun. I am so pleased that the meeting will be today. I can’t wait to have your ownership of me become official.” I hoped he didn’t pick up on the fact that I wasn’t really answering his question and that I definitely wasn’t bubbling with excitement at the prospect of belonging to him.

Taun looked at me. He seemed bothered, although not angry. He sat down on the edge of the cushion and stroked my cheek with his hand.

“Oh Clara. I know you’re scared. I know you’re probably less than enthusiastic about the idea of living with me forever. Your punishments were terrible. But I hope you will see that they were also very necessary. You have belonged to me from the moment I first saw you at the Retreat; you just didn’t know it then and I tried to teach you the nice way, the easy way, but you wouldn’t learn. So I had to use the hard way. But I think that now, at last, you realize you are mine and today’s meeting will simply make that official.”

I tried to control my fear. Yes, I was scared.

He leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the forehead. “But it won’t always be like this. You will see that life with me can be very, very pleasant for you. From now on you will only be punished as a direct result of any misbehavior and of course if you are good you will be rewarded. I do not trust you yet; the punishments served to teach you who you are and to make you pay for your mistakes but only time will earn you my trust. So you will remain chained to this cushion unless you are being given some specific duty. As time goes on and you show me that I can trust you, you may be permitted a little more freedom but you will always remain inside my house. The doors and windows are locked. If you try and get out you will not only be unsuccessful, you will make me very angry. And it’s probably a good idea to avoid doing that, don’t you think?”

I nodded. I would be a prisoner forever.

“I’m glad you agree. Now then, I’m going to make us some breakfast and then you will prepare yourself, in my presence, for the meeting. I want you to look good for Mr. Negulesco. He will probably want to use you one last time and I will grant him that right as a courtesy but after today no man will touch you ever again. Doesn’t that make you happy, Clara? From now on only I will see you naked, only I will fuck you. Your body is mine; only mine!”

The way he spoke frightened me. He seemed almost drunk on the idea of sole ownership of me.

He walked away and returned a short while later with food. After that he clipped the leash onto my collar then unchained my ankle and lead me to the bathroom. There he closed and locked the door before taking the leash off. I wondered why, if all the doors and windows were locked, he felt the need to lead me around as though I were a dog but I supposed it was partly because he knew I found it demeaning and partly to remind me that I was his owned pet.

But I’m not an animal! I’m me, I’m Clara, a person, a girl. I don’t belong to him or to anyone! He can brainwash me into saying whatever stupid phrases he wants to hear but he’ll never really make me believe I belong to him. I have to keep telling myself that he is wrong. I won’t let him invade my mind.

Taun made sure I washed and prepared my body and hair for Mr. Negulesco. He showed me which make up to use (too much) and which clothes to wear (too few). A pair of very high heels that were almost impossible to walk in finished off the outfit. Then we went outside where a limo was waiting for us and we were driven to go and meet Mr. Negulesco.

I feel asleep in the car. It was a very long drive and although I was scared I was still so exhausted from the past few weeks and I hadn’t had much sleep that night.

“Wake up, my dear, we’re here.” Taun’s voice was soft and kind and his hand stroked my hair with a gentle caress. I opened my eyes.

We got out of the car and were met by a man in a suit who asked us to follow him. We entered a very modern looking building, were waved through security, and took the elevator to the eighteenth floor. When the doors opened we were led along a hallway until we reached about the third or fourth door which the man opened for us and ushered us through. We were then standing in what looked like a large and comfortable waiting room. We followed the man through a couple more doors and then I saw him.

“Hello Clara.”

My breath caught in my throat and I felt as though he had somehow just stollen all the air from my lungs. I stared at Mr. Negulesco as he sat behind a huge wooden desk. He stood up to greet us and I realized that I was cowering behind Taun. Why was I afraid? He couldn’t hurt me now; I all but belonged to Taun and why would he damage property he was about to sell?

But it wasn’t exactly fear, anyway. It was that feeling I always get when I see Mr. Negulesco except that it had been so long since I’d seen him last that I’d forgotten what that feeling felt like and it seemed so much stronger now. I can never explain or understand it. He makes me tremble but it’s as though he also has some kind of power or hold over me because I cannot run and even worse than that, I don’t want to run. My body screams at me to get away from him yet at the same time seems to be trying all it can to get closer to him.

I suddenly realized Taun was glaring down at me. “Mr. Negulesco spoke to you, Clara. You will reply.” Continue reading →

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The Punishments

Oh no! No no no no no!

I fell asleep. I can’t believe it but it’s true and now I have only a few hours to finish writing up everything that has happened since Taun brought me back to his place. I don’t have time to think. Just write. You can do it, Clara. Just write.

So, where was I when I left off? That’s right. Chained right here, spread eagle on this over-sided cushion.

Taun had left to go sleep and told me to rest in preparation for my punishment. Or rather, my punishments. In the plural. I was sure I would never sleep with that thought looming over me but I must have eventually dropped off because the next thing I remember is the smell of bacon filling my nostrils and when I opened my eyes daylight was streaming into the room.

I tried to move or even just stretch a little but the chains still held me taut. I lifted my head and saw Taun busy in the kitchen. I wanted to call to him but, remembering the rules, stayed silent. The delicious aroma of croissants mingling with the mouthwatering scent of bacon made my stomach start to grumble. I couldn’t believe I actually felt hungry.

Finally Taun walked over and to my relief he was carrying a tray of food. He placed the tray on the floor, tantalizingly close to my mouth, then began to loosen the chains that held my wrists.

“Good morning, baby. Did you sleep well? Actually, I don’t really care. You don’t deserve a good night’s sleep yet. But you will earn that right, don’t worry. Sit up. I’m going to feed you some breakfast and I don’t want you choking on your food.”

I sat up, with a little difficulty as my body ached from lying in exactly the same position all night. I looked with longing at the plate of food.

Taun sat down on the side of the cushion next to me and held the plate on his lap. With a fork, he began to feed me small mouthfuls of bacon, sausage,  and scrambled eggs with buttered toast then helped me take small sips from a glass of delicious, freshly pressed orange juice. I wondered what had happened to the croissants that I could still smell, but of course didn’t dare ask.

“So Clara,” Taun said, as I chewed my food. “Your punishments begin today. You will suffer for what you did to me but paying for your mistakes is not the only reason you are being punished. You need to learn that you belong to me; that I own your body, mind, and soul. You are mine, Clara. You do not get to just walk away and tell some other random guy you love him. You belong with me; to me. Do you understand?”

I nodded. The food, so delicious at first, had now turned to sand in my mouth.

Just then, Taun’s cell phone rang.

He listened for a short while then nodded and said, “Yes, now is fine. I’ll meet you at the door in five minutes.” He hung up and then turned back to me. “Lie down Clara, breakfast is over.”

I did as he said, hoping that the fear growing in my belly wouldn’t cause me to throw up everything I had just eaten. Taun pulled the chains taut so I was once again lying flat and open, then walked to the kitchen taking the tray and what was left of the food with him.

I waited, listening, wondering who had just called. After only a few minutes I heard voices and then steps. Lifting my head I watched as Taun approached with two other men. Despite the obvious impossibility of success, I tried desperately to close my legs, and began struggling in the leather cuffs. The three men stood at my feet, looking me up and down. Continue reading →

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About Elust

Elust 88

Hi Clara’s Diary,

You’ll notice that the post below is a little different to the usual diary post from Clara or note from me. Let me explain why it’s there.

Thanks to Nick from My Dissolute Life, I recently discovered a website called e[lust]. It’s a monthly digest of sex blogs and works in a similar way to Six Sentence Sunday. By submitting a story, poem or article, the author agrees to publish the digest on his or her blog. It’s an excellent way to discover new and interesting websites.

Go take a look; it’s well worth checking out!


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Elust 92

Elust 92 Header
Photo courtesy of Steeled Snake

Welcome to Elust 92

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #93 Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Feeling Forced

NEEDY – a black obsession



~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

“One Man Is Not Enough For You.”


~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Safewords in Kink Life and in Kink Fiction

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Erotic Fiction

The Anatomy Lesson
Town whore Continue reading →

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Taun Returns

I can hardly move.

I don’t think I want to move anyway, so that’s okay. I have screamed, cried, struggled and begged for days and I have no strength left to do anything except lie here, completely broken.

Taun came to get me! Yes, my dear, sweet friend, he came to the Retreat, took me home and…

And my life has been a living hell and a waking nightmare since that day, probably a few weeks ago now but I have no way of knowing. I mean, I can see if it’s day or night but I have no idea how many days have passed because I wasn’t even conscious for some of the time and it’s not as if I get tucked in at night and woken up gently each morning.

So, what happened? If Taun came to get me, why isn’t my life wonderful and amazing and perfectly happy? Because of that stupid DVD, that’s why! At least, that’s what Taun is blaming his rage on but he also seems extremely angry that I walked off in the middle of the night and ended up back at the Retreat. But at least that one mystery is solved. I didn’t know how I had gotten to the Retreat because it’s much too far for me to walk and it’s not like I could take a bus or train there in my sleep! Apparently, I’d wandered out of Taun’s house half-asleep, half in a daze, and some man had found me and asked me my name and address and all I’d said was something like, “I’m Clara, from the Gentleman’s Retreat.” So the man had done some asking around and found someone who knew Mr. Negulesco who said he’d come get me and take me home.

Why hadn’t Mr. Negulesco told Taun sooner that I was there? Why hadn’t Taun come earlier to look for me there? I haven’t been able to ask these questions yet but I have a theory that Mr. Neguelsco was very happy to just let me stay at the Retreat for a while, not because he likes me, but because some of the gentlemen do. I guess. At least they like hurting me.

Anyway, it seems that after Mr. Kozlov made that edited version of the video from our “romantic” night together Mr. Negulesco decided to send it to Taun (although I don’t know if he was doing so because Mr. Kozlov asked him to or whether it was his own idea). In any case, once Taun had seen the video he was furious and drove straight to the Retreat. Why had it taken seeing that video to make him come and get me? Had he been happy to let me suffer there at the hands of those awful men and only wanted to get me back when he thought I was happy and in love with one of them? Or did he really not know that I was there before the video footage proved it? Maybe he had phoned Mr. Negulesco to ask him and he’d lied. I doubt I’ll ever know the truth and it doesn’t really matter as it won’t change anything for me right now.

Right now, I just have to figure out how to survive until Taun has decided that I have paid off my debt to him and also convinced him that I can be trusted. Oh, and of course I also have the meeting with Mr. Negulesco to look forward to tomorrow, during which apparently he and Taun will finalize the details of my sale. Such fun times…

Being sold to Taun, to live with him and be used by only him, would have been almost a dream come true, a few weeks ago. Taken from the hands of cruel strangers at the Retreat into the arms of a man who likes me and who treats me as a human being was something I would have agreed to in a heartbeat. But now, if being owned by Taun means that I will suffer the way I have for the past few weeks, then I think I want to go back to the Retreat. At least there, some days I am left in peace and some times the men are kind; here every day and night is pain and cruelty.

I’m sorry, my long-suffering friend, you are probably completely confused by my tale of woe. Let me back up a little and tell you what happened. Continue reading →

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The Anatomy Lesson

Sexy man with beautiful eyesWell, obviously, I did wake up.

Oh my dearest, closest friend, whatever am I going to do? There must be a way for me to get out of the hell I’m living but if there is I just can’t see it. I know that Mr. Kozlov will be back once again at some point, although it has been probably over a week now and, as always, I dream that he has found some other occupation to keep him more permanently away from the Retreat.

Or perhaps some misfortune? An accident? Do I wish ill of him? It’s hard to say. It’s true I hate him and fear him and yet… there is something about his eyes and… No! I have to stop thinking like that. It’s only because I know I can’t avoid him that I’m trying to make him into something he is not. But when he touches me it’s… it’s just… I don’t know! There is something about him that I can’t understand. It’s not like Mr. Negulesco. But it’s kind of similar in a way.

Anyway, no, I wouldn’t want something bad to happen to Mr. Kozlov, despite all the awful things he has done to me, but I do wish he wouldn’t visit me anymore. I am so scared of him. When I see Mr. Negulesco I feel joy (and fear, but there is always that joy too); when I see Mr. Kozlov I am just scared. There is no happiness at all when I am with him (unless of course he is tricking me into thinking he likes me which I would like to say will never happen again but he is so clever that I bet he could fool me all over again if he wanted to). No, there is no happiness at the site of Mr. Kozlov but… there is something else. I don’t want to say it but I will tell you my secret friend. I think he excites me. Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I have admitted that! Yes, I think that part of me, although scared he will hurt me, actually wants to spend time with him just in case he makes me feel good. I can’t let that be true! How has he done that to me? Is it because he terrifies me so much that, when he is actually good to me it makes everything feel even more amazing?

I don’t know. But I have to get away from him. I have to find a way to leave here. Maybe another of the gentlemen will take a liking to me and buy me? Or… Taun.

I can’t stop thinking of Taun and what could have been. The more I think about it the less I understand. If only Vince hadn’t kidnapped me, things would have been fine. But everything went wrong after that. If I ever get the chance to see Taun again I will be so good, so sweet and wonderful to him he’ll nickname me sugar, or honey, or something cute like that!!!

But, I haven’t written to you today to tell you these things, my lovely confidante. (Well, I suppose I have, but I mean that I have other things to tell you as well!) I did in fact see Mr. Kozlov again last night and I need to tell you about that.

He found me walking around outside and as usual he just seemed to appear next to me, say my name, and startle me half to death. Does he do that on purpose? I have no idea but I wouldn’t be surprised. He seems to enjoy making me react especially if it’s a particularly uncomfortable reaction for me.

We chatted for a while and I tried my best to avoid his eyes. If he is being nice to me it’s difficult enough but if I make the mistake of looking into his eyes then I am lost.

He asked me if I wanted to stay outside or go somewhere more private. Well, that was an easy question to answer! As much as being alone with Mr. Kozlov is frightening, being with him and others too is even worse so I quickly said that I’d like to be in a room.

“Excellent! Then we’ll stay out here. Follow me. I believe there is some interesting equipment around the other side of the house and there will no doubt be a small crowd too.” Continue reading →

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