Somebody please help me.
“Very good. I’m pleased with you Clara and you’ll be happy to know that Mr. Negulesco has confirmed today’s meeting, which means that our friends Karl and Tyr will no longer be visiting us. I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye; I know they will miss you but perhaps you won’t miss them quite as much?”
How could I reply to that? Of course I didn’t want to make Taun angry by insulting ‘our’ friends so I couldn’t say what I actually felt about them although I was sure Taun knew I hated them.
“Yes, thank you, Taun. I am so pleased that the meeting will be today. I can’t wait to have your ownership of me become official.” I hoped he didn’t pick up on the fact that I wasn’t really answering his question and that I definitely wasn’t bubbling with excitement at the prospect of belonging to him.
Taun looked at me. He seemed bothered, although not angry. He sat down on the edge of the cushion and stroked my cheek with his hand.
“Oh Clara. I know you’re scared. I know you’re probably less than enthusiastic about the idea of living with me forever. Your punishments were terrible. But I hope you will see that they were also very necessary. You have belonged to me from the moment I first saw you at the Retreat; you just didn’t know it then and I tried to teach you the nice way, the easy way, but you wouldn’t learn. So I had to use the hard way. But I think that now, at last, you realize you are mine and today’s meeting will simply make that official.”
I tried to control my fear. Yes, I was scared.
He leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the forehead. “But it won’t always be like this. You will see that life with me can be very, very pleasant for you. From now on you will only be punished as a direct result of any misbehavior and of course if you are good you will be rewarded. I do not trust you yet; the punishments served to teach you who you are and to make you pay for your mistakes but only time will earn you my trust. So you will remain chained to this cushion unless you are being given some specific duty. As time goes on and you show me that I can trust you, you may be permitted a little more freedom but you will always remain inside my house. The doors and windows are locked. If you try and get out you will not only be unsuccessful, you will make me very angry. And it’s probably a good idea to avoid doing that, don’t you think?”
I nodded. I would be a prisoner forever.
“I’m glad you agree. Now then, I’m going to make us some breakfast and then you will prepare yourself, in my presence, for the meeting. I want you to look good for Mr. Negulesco. He will probably want to use you one last time and I will grant him that right as a courtesy but after today no man will touch you ever again. Doesn’t that make you happy, Clara? From now on only I will see you naked, only I will fuck you. Your body is mine; only mine!”
The way he spoke frightened me. He seemed almost drunk on the idea of sole ownership of me.
He walked away and returned a short while later with food. After that he clipped the leash onto my collar then unchained my ankle and lead me to the bathroom. There he closed and locked the door before taking the leash off. I wondered why, if all the doors and windows were locked, he felt the need to lead me around as though I were a dog but I supposed it was partly because he knew I found it demeaning and partly to remind me that I was his owned pet.
But I’m not an animal! I’m me, I’m Clara, a person, a girl. I don’t belong to him or to anyone! He can brainwash me into saying whatever stupid phrases he wants to hear but he’ll never really make me believe I belong to him. I have to keep telling myself that he is wrong. I won’t let him invade my mind.
Taun made sure I washed and prepared my body and hair for Mr. Negulesco. He showed me which make up to use (too much) and which clothes to wear (too few). A pair of very high heels that were almost impossible to walk in finished off the outfit. Then we went outside where a limo was waiting for us and we were driven to go and meet Mr. Negulesco.
I feel asleep in the car. It was a very long drive and although I was scared I was still so exhausted from the past few weeks and I hadn’t had much sleep that night.
“Wake up, my dear, we’re here.” Taun’s voice was soft and kind and his hand stroked my hair with a gentle caress. I opened my eyes.
We got out of the car and were met by a man in a suit who asked us to follow him. We entered a very modern looking building, were waved through security, and took the elevator to the eighteenth floor. When the doors opened we were led along a hallway until we reached about the third or fourth door which the man opened for us and ushered us through. We were then standing in what looked like a large and comfortable waiting room. We followed the man through a couple more doors and then I saw him.
My breath caught in my throat and I felt as though he had somehow just stollen all the air from my lungs. I stared at Mr. Negulesco as he sat behind a huge wooden desk. He stood up to greet us and I realized that I was cowering behind Taun. Why was I afraid? He couldn’t hurt me now; I all but belonged to Taun and why would he damage property he was about to sell?
But it wasn’t exactly fear, anyway. It was that feeling I always get when I see Mr. Negulesco except that it had been so long since I’d seen him last that I’d forgotten what that feeling felt like and it seemed so much stronger now. I can never explain or understand it. He makes me tremble but it’s as though he also has some kind of power or hold over me because I cannot run and even worse than that, I don’t want to run. My body screams at me to get away from him yet at the same time seems to be trying all it can to get closer to him.
I suddenly realized Taun was glaring down at me. “Mr. Negulesco spoke to you, Clara. You will reply.”
“You used my real name.” I felt like a school child who had been bullied by the teacher all year long and now, on the last day of term, the teacher finally smiled and said how well I had studied.
Mr. Negulesco stood up and walked towards us. I tried to hide even further behind Taun but he pulled me in front of him, seemingly wanting to show off how I looked. I felt very uncomfortable in such a short, tight skirt and almost transparent blouse and those ridiculous high heals.
The man who had escorted us was dismissed and for a while I was thankfully forgotten. Mr. Negulesco offered Taun a drink and the two men sat on a large, dark brown leather sofa in front of a huge window. I would have loved to have sat on that sofa; it looked so comfortable. Or even just been allowed to remain standing so I could stare out the window at the incredible view. But Taun had me sit on the floor at his feet, and as the men talked he kept stroking my hair or patting my head. I wasn’t uncomfortable; the floor was covered in a thick rug, but it was so humiliating. I wasn’t a kitten or puppy dog waiting obediently at its master’s feet hoping to be taken for a walk!
But I was. I was about to be sold, just like an animal, and Taun wanted to make it very clear to both Mr. Negulesco and to me that I was indeed just that. I had almost started to believe Taun’s brain washing; his punishments had been very effective. But now, seeing Mr. Negulesco again made me remember the Retreat and how, as awful as it had been there, at least I’d had free time and some of the men had been nice. And at the Retreat there was always the small glimmer of hope of escape. With Taun I knew that was impossible.
“I’ll be back in about an hour. Enjoy yourself!”
Taun’s voice suddenly grabbed my attention and I saw that he was standing up. I looked at him and began to rise too but he put a hand on my head to stop me.
“No, baby, you will stay here with Mr. Negulesco. I’m going to get the cash to buy you and when I return he and I will finalize the details of your sale. I have given him permission to use you while he waits for me. Do as he says, Clara. I will be very angry if I return and he is less than completely satisfied. Do you understand?”
So now I was no longer his puppy dog, I had been promoted to human. Human prostitute.
But I nodded that I understood. What else could I do?
“Good girl.” Another pat on the head (I guess I was a dog again) and Taun was gone.
I stared at the ground. I was sure Mr. Negulesco was looking at me but I couldn’t quite make my head move. He was so close to me, still sitting on the sofa, I could feel him, sense him, smell him. I bit my lip to stop from making a silly whimpering sound that I was sure I was about to make at any minute.
“You were always my favorite. Did you know that, Clara?”
I was so surprised I looked up at him suddenly. Our eyes locked and I started to drown in his deep, dark gaze.
“I… I was?”
He nodded. It wasn’t lost on me that he was still using my real name. He never did that. He had never, never called me Clara; always Clarise, Claire, Chleo or some other variation. But usually Clarise and I had become so used to him calling me that name, that hearing him say the real one sounded wrong. I desperately wanted him call me Clarise again which now sounded almost like a term of endearment.
“And now you’re leaving me.” I couldn’t look away. I continued drowning.
“I don’t have the choice!” I was suddenly filled with regret even though none of this was my fault. “Taun just took me from the Retreat and told me he was going to buy me from you. He didn’t ask if I wanted to go! And then he punished me for leaving him! He invited two friends over who…”
I stopped. I suddenly realized that I probably shouldn’t tell Mr. Negulesco what Taun had done. It felt like I was telling on him and what was the point? It’s not like Mr. Negueslco would tell Taun off and make sure he didn’t do it again! And Taun would probably be angry with me for speaking about him to someone else and then I’d be punished. Again.
“Who did what?”
Mr. Negulesco was waiting for me to continue; I had to say something.
“Who um, did things to me. They…”
I blinked furiously, determined not to cry but Mr. Negulesco’s voice was so deep, soft and soothing and his manner so warm and comforting. He was still staring at me and I couldn’t look away. He should have been a hypnotist. He would have been extremely successful.
“Poor Clara. I can imagine it wasn’t easy. Taun was indeed very angry at your betrayal. It doesn’t surprise me he wanted to punish you by having two complete strangers have sex with you. I know you don’t like that and it must have been difficult for you.”
My mouth fell open. He knew that? He had known all along that I hated being used by men I don’t know? I should have been angry at him but I was too concerned about correcting his misunderstanding of my punishments.
“They didn’t just have sex with me! They hurt me! All day every day for a week or two weeks or I don’t know how long but I was chained to this pillow thing on the floor and they whipped me and hit me and used clamps and pegs and so many… so much…”
I was sobbing now. I didn’t want to remember it all, didn’t want to think about it, but I couldn’t help talking. It felt so good to confide in someone and, as ridiculous as it now sounds, at that moment Mr. Negulsco seemed like a friend.
“Shhh… it’s okay, Clara, it’s okay. Don’t cry. Here come and sit next to me. Come…”
He leaned down and, hooking his hands under my arms, he easily pulled me up on the sofa next to him. I put up no resistance and let out a little sigh of pleasure when my skin came into contact with the soft leather. He positioned me so I was lying sort of on my side on the sofa with my head resting on his lap. He stroked my hair and wiped a tear away as it began to roll down my cheek.
“It’s okay… it’s over now. No more punishments for you. You’re safe with me now.”
I turned my head slowly, seeking out his eyes again. They were so dark and deep but nothing like the way they usually look. I hadn’t seen his eyes glow that warmly in a long time. Not since the first day I met him, in fact, when I trespassed onto his land and stole a dip in his swimming pool.
“But… you’re selling me to Taun, aren’t you? I’ll go back to his house after this meeting and he… he’ll do whatever he wants to me…”
“Not if you don’t want to go back with him.”
“You mean, I have the choice? If I don’t want him to buy me, you won’t sell me? You would take me back to the Retreat with you?”
His hand had moved from my hair to my neck. A little shiver shot through me as he slowly caressed the nape of my neck and then with one finger he gently traced the line of my collar bone. My pulse began to quicken. His finger was moving very gradually lower down my body.
“Would you like that, Clara? Would you like me to take you back to the Retreat instead of selling you to Taun? Is that what you want, Clara?”
I gasped. His hand was cupping my breast now and the flimsy fabric between my skin and his did very little to dampen the sensations his touches were sending through my body especially as Taun had decided I didn’t need to wear a bra. He lightly rolled a nipple between his thumb and finger and I moaned.
“Tell me Clara, is that what you want? Tell me you want me to take you home. Tell me you don’t want to belong to Taun.”
I groaned. He had turned me so I was now lying flat on my back with my head still on his chest and he began to unbutton the blouse.
He stared at my naked breasts for a few moments. “I have missed you so much, Clara.”
One of his large, dark hands gently squeezed my breast, his thumb occasionally drawing a moan from me as it gently grazed the nipple. I had never known him to be this gentle with me and it was intoxicating. He was so deliberate; every move seemed controlled and full of strength and decision.
His other hand traced a soft line downwards, over my belly, then he stroked my thighs until I couldn’t help but move my hips up towards his touch as though they suddenly missed their old friend so badly and couldn’t wait a moment longer to reconnect.
When his hand touched me in between my legs I let out a loud whimper and my eyes closed. It felt so good! He was so strong and I felt so protected in his arms, under his touch, with him.
The thin lace panties ripped easily as he pulled them out of the way and then his fingers were inside me, moving, wriggling and I moaned loudly, bucking my hips to try and pull him in further.
I heard him chuckle and, embarrassed, I opened my eyes.
He saw me looking at him and smiled, a warm, kind smile which reassured me that he wasn’t making fun of me.
“Oh Clara, you are just as responsive as always. Maybe even more so after all those terrible, awful punishments. I have always loved the way you move when I touch you, how you sigh and moan and pretend you don’t want it when really…”
I gulped. For just a second I saw something in his eyes. Something familiar and terrifying about the way they shone.
“But I don’t, I really don’t… oh!”
Both hands were between my legs now. He still had two or three fingers inside me but he was touching me too, moving in tiny circles and caressing and rubbing and…
“It’s okay, I know you don’t. I was just teasing you.”
His smile was sweet and his eyes had regained their kind, gentle glow and I relaxed again. I closed my eyes, unable to keep them open now. I felt very warm.
He started to move and it wasn’t until he was lying almost on top of me that I realized what he was doing.
“Open your eyes, Clara. I want you to look at me.”
I obeyed with difficulty. His voice was so thick and smooth it made me sleepy.
I could feel his body between my legs and knew that he would be inside me with just one thrust. I wanted him inside.
“Taun will be back soon, Clara. And when he gets back he will pay me a lot of money to take you away from me forever. Is that what you want? Or would you like me to tell him the deal is off? Would you like me to tell him I’m bringing you home with me? Is that what you want, Clara, is it? Tell me. Tell me what you want.”
“Tell me Clara, tell me you want me. Tell me you want to come back with me. Tell me you don’t want to belong to Taun, that you want to come home to the Retreat. Say it, Clara. Say it.”
I groaned. My head was spinning and I was too warm. I was sure my cheeks were flushed and I didn’t understand why I needed him so badly. But at that moment I wanted nothing else. Just his body inside my body. That is all. I whimpered and struggled, pushing my hips upwards as hard as I could, but he had pinned my wrists with his hands and was holding me down with his body weight.
“Please… please just…”
I couldn’t believe I was begging him! He was talking of leaving Taun forever and going back to the Retreat and all I could think of was sex??? It didn’t make any sense! But he had called me his favorite. Did he liked me more than he wanted to admit? Perhaps he even cared for me! And, if I wanted him so badly that I would actively try and pull him inside me, then surely I did like him more than I had thought too. I must really like him more than I ever knew! Maybe I even…
“Say it, Clara, tell me.”
He pushed in just a little. Oh but I wanted more. I needed more!
“Yes Clara? Go on. You can tell me anything you know. I am here for you, I have always been here for you. If you only knew how I feel about you and how I’ve missed you. Come back to me, Clara. Say you’ll come back to me.”
I couldn’t take it any more. I needed him! I needed his affection just as badly as I needed his body inside mine.
“Yes, I want to! I want to come back with you, Mr. Negulesco, please take me home to the Retreat, I want to be with you and only you and I lo-”
I threw my head back and cried out with pleasure as he suddenly plunged deep, deep into me. He pounded me so hard it should have hurt, especially after everything I had gone through in the past week or so, but it didn’t hurt. It felt the opposite of hurt. It felt incredible and before long I was screaming in ecstasy, my orgasm crashing through me just before his release which immediately sent me over the top again.
He collapsed on top of me, his weight almost crushing the air out of my lungs but I didn’t care. I was happy! I was so, so happy! That was all I had ever wanted and I only realized it then, when it had finally happened. Mr. Negulesco had finally told me how he really felt about me and that had allowed me to accept how I really felt about him. All those months – years? – at the Retreat where I had been so confused about my feelings towards him were because I just couldn’t accept that I was actually in-
“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”
My slushy train of thought was abruptly derailed by an angry voice coming from the doorway. I looked up in time to see Taun glaring at me. He slammed the door so hard I screamed and immediately tried to hold on to Mr. Negulesco for safety but just as I did so he shoved me off the sofa and I landed on the floor with a painful thud.
“The transfer went through?”
I looked up at Mr. Negulesco, confusion in my eyes, but he was looking at Taun.
“Yes, please check your laptop for confirmation.”
“Excellent. I’ll do so and then we’ll finalize the details of the sale and you can take her home.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! I looked back at Mr. Negulesco who had stood up and was zipping up his pants. He laughed.
“Poor Clarise, you’re going to be in so much trouble with Taun when he gets you home. Not two minutes away from your owner and you’re already throwing yourself at the first man you meet. Looks like those houseguests might be paying another visit very soon…”
I felt so ill I was sure I was going to throw up. Had he tricked me? No, he couldn’t have! He had been so gentle, so sincere, so kind and loving and…
Confused, hurt and scared I looked back at Taun who was standing in the middle of the room glaring at me with a look of pure hatred. Had he known Mr. Negulesco was going to try and trick me like that? Maybe he had even suggested it as a way to test me? It didn’t matter. All I knew is that I was going to be punished again and probably even more brutally than before. I looked down at myself. My panties had been ripped off but if I pulled the mini-skirt low enough on my hips I could get away with that. My blouse was hanging off my shoulders but I could probably hold it closed until I had time to do the buttons up. Could I run in these shoes? I would have to.
The next thing I knew my hand was on the door knob and miraculously it was opening. I barreled through the open doorway and ran straight ahead. I had no idea where I was going; I just had to get away. Obviously the elevator wasn’t a good option but I just hoped that one of the doors next to it was the stairwell. If I could get to another floor perhaps I could find a room to hide in until the coast was clear.
My heart was beating so fast in my chest but I had nothing to lose. I was sure I’d feel a hand on my shoulder or even a bullet in my body at any moment.
I made it to the stairwell and hurtled down about four flights before exiting to another floor similar to the one I’d been on. I tried a few doors and finally, thankfully, one opened. I slammed it closed behind me and tried to lock it. Leaning against it for a few seconds to catch my breath and look around I saw what looked like it could be a small bathroom. I ran towards it, closed and locked the door. Then I collapsed onto the floor and cried.
I woke up to darkness. How long had I been there? I must have eventually fallen asleep but I had no idea what time it was now nor did I understand why the room was so dark. Maybe the lights were on a timer? I stood up and groped around, feeling for the light switch but couldn’t find anything. I pulled my skirt as low on my hips as it would go and felt around until I managed to do the buttons up on my blouse. I took the shoes off as it would be a lot easier and quieter without them but I would need to carry them so that I could put them on again when – if – I got outside to safety. Then, holding my breath, I gently pushed opened the bathroom door.
More blackness. The room was totally dark; it must be late at night. Had I really escaped that easily? Had Taun and Mr. Negulesco given up looking for me? Or maybe they’d not even tried. After all, I’d betrayed Taun yet again and perhaps he was finally fed up with me and if Mr. Negulesco’s kindness had all been an act then he didn’t care about me either and so probably just couldn’t be bothered to waste time looking for me.
I fought back the irrational tears. I should be happy! I was free! But something inside me mourned.
Anyway, I wasn’t free yet. Not until I got out of that building and to some kind person who could help me.
Trying to remember where the main door of the office was, I walked slowly and carefully across the room, only bumping into a chair. Opening the office door, light poured into the room and I squinted, blinded for a moment until my eyes adjusted. I looked back and forth, sure I’d see guards or someone who would march me straight back to my captors but no one was there.
I took the stairwell again and walked down each flight of stairs as quietly as I could. Finally reaching the main floor I put the shoes back on, fixed my clothing again, ran my hands through my hair, and then slowly pushed open the heavy fire door.
I was in the lobby. I looked around. The front doors were close. Almost free!
The voice startled me. It was a security guard and the light caught on his badge and glinted at me. I tried hard to not look like a terrified hunted fox.
But he was smiling at me, and nothing in his face or body language seemed to say that he was about to grab me and drag me back to Taun or Mr. Negulesco.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you. Good night!”
I forced myself to walk slowly as though I were tired after a long day, and to smile in the most cheerful and polite way that I could. But all I wanted to do was run and get out of the building as quickly as possible.
“Working late tonight I see. Need me to call you a cab?”
He must have presumed I worked here and if he had noticed my clothes were not typical professional attire he didn’t say anything. It was a very ritzy building and I supposed the guards and desk staff were paid well and didn’t ask questions. Should I take him up on his offer? A cab ride would be a quick and easy way to get far from here. But where would I go and how would I pay? Plus I’d be easily trackable if anyone was still looking for me.
I shook my head, smiling warmly, “No thank you. I’m not going far and I prefer to walk.”
“Very good miss. Get home safely. See you tomorrow.”
I nodded and smiled again then made my way to the front doors. Finally out in the cool, night air I took a deep breath filling my lungs with the scent of freedom.
I walked for about half an hour, just enjoying being alone, free to roam wherever I wanted. I was outside! Then I realized with dismay that I had no plan and no idea where to go. It was the middle of the night. I couldn’t exactly just knock on someone’s door and beg them to help me. Or could I? No, I needed to wait until the morning and so I’d need somewhere to stay until then. Luckily it wasn’t cold but I didn’t want to walk around all night and if I was going to sleep then I’d need somewhere a little sheltered. If only I had some money. Oh how a hotel bed would be a welcome treat right now! To sleep in a real bed, warm and comfortable, free to stretch and wriggle as I pleased under the cozy quilt or warm blankets.
“Need a ride?”
I hadn’t noticed the car that had slowed down and almost stopped next to me as I walked along the sidewalk, dreaming.
“Oh, no thank you, I-”
I froze. The driver was pointing a gun at me.
“Just get in. My orders are to find you and bring you to Taun alive, but I can still shoot you without killing you. If you get in the van now, I won’t hurt you.
I stared at the gun and then slowly over it at the man. He had stopped driving and was opening the door, getting out and walking towards me, all with the gun pointing straight at my body. I couldn’t move. Some of the men at the Retreat like to scare me with knives and have even cut me sometimes, a little. One man used long, thin and very sharp pins which was absolutely terrifying especially when he told me they could cause irreparable internal damage without leaving an external trace so no one would know it was him and he wouldn’t be blamed for my slow and painful death. It had been a bluff, of course, because I learned later that everything is filmed but I hadn’t known that then and it was the most frightening thing that had ever happened to me.
But no one had ever pointed a gun at me before. The fear completely immobilized me.
“Are you going to get in the van or am I going to shoot you?”
Feeling so weak I wasn’t sure I could even walk one step I answered, my voice shaking, “Please don’t shoot me. I’ll get in the van.”
He held on to my arm so firmly I couldn’t have run away then anyway, but he still held the gun in his other hand until he had lead me around to the passenger side. Opening the door he shoved me inside and then walked around to get into the driver’s seat. I guess he figured, correctly, that I wasn’t going to jump out and start running. I could have probably outrun him, even in my present state, as he was rather large and didn’t look at all fit but I didn’t doubt that he’d shoot me down if I did.
I gasped and flinched as he suddenly leant across me, grabbing my breasts in his podgy hands as he did so.
“Relax sweetheart, I’m not going to molest you.” I looked at him and the expression in his eyes didn’t seem to match what he was saying. “Just making sure you’re buckled up safely. Wouldn’t want you get get hurt now would we? Taun said no touching, but he didn’t say anything about looking so why not make the trip fun for me and get your tits out?”
When I didn’t move, the gun was pointing at me again.
“Or I can tell Taun that you ran and I had to shoot at you to get you to stop.”
Starting to cry, I began to undo the buttons of the blouse.
I heard him suck in his breath through his teeth. “Nice! Now stick your chest out, you know, like you want me to admire your tits and you’re happy to tease me with them. Go on, and smile at me while you do it. That’s it, smile like you’re trying to get me to notice you and you want me to fuck you.”
I doubt that my efforts to smile in the manner he wanted were successful but he didn’t seem to care. He put the gun away, typed something into his phone, and then started to drive.
My back began to ache after almost an hour of holding that ridiculous position and at every red traffic light he leered at my naked breasts and licked his lips in such a way I thought I was going to throw up. I tried to close my eyes but he told me to look at him with desire and luckily he didn’t seem to care when I failed to act convincingly.
Finally the car stopped. I looked outside but didn’t recognize where we were.
“This is the address Taun gave me for your delivery. Well, actually, the address is just round the corner and I’m going to take you there in a moment but first I’m going to take you here. Hey! D’you get it? Take you there then take you here!” He burst out laughing and I just stared at him, hoping that I didn’t understand what I was dreading he meant.
The gun was pointing at me again and he was telling me to get out of the van. He lead me around to the back, opened the doors and pushed me inside.
“But Taun told you not to-”
“Don’t you worry about that. I’m all prepared, see?” He pulled out a wrapped condom from his pants pocket. “There’ll be no evidence and you’re not going to tell him, are you? Even if you do I’ll deny it and who’s he gonna believe? His runaway whore or me, his faithful servant? Now lie down, arch your back, and spread your legs nice and wide for me.”
Sobbing, I did as he said. He had put the gun down but I didn’t doubt he would still use it if I didn’t obey.
“That’s it sweetheart, yeah just like that. You’re so horny for me. I saw the way you looked at me. You want me bad. Well, good news! I’m gonna fuck you right here in the back of my van. I’m gonna fuck your fucking brains out. Oh yeah!”
I turned my head to the side as he raped me, just grateful that he didn’t expect me to smile or pretend I was enjoying it. I guess he didn’t care at that point. He was done really quickly.
Zipping up he said, panting, “You breath a word to Taun and you’re dead, got it?”
I wasn’t sure how he’d get to me while I was with Taun but who knows? Maybe he’d arrange to be one of Taun’s house guests who would ‘help’ him with the punishments I was sure I would be experiencing for many months to come.
“Good, now straighten yourself up you bitch, you look like a whore. We’ll be there in five minutes.”
Then he got out of the van, slammed the doors shut, and drove off again.
Just a few minutes later the van stopped I waited, huddled in a ball hugging my knees to my chest, absolutely dreading seeing Taun again. I heard muffled voices and then the doors opened. I peered up. Taun was staring down at me, the expression on his face impossible to read.
The other man dragged me out of the van and pushed me towards Taun. I tried my best not to flinch as his thick hands touched me but my skin crawled at the memory of him on top of me.
I didn’t look as the man walked away and drove off, taking his disgusting rape van with him. I was staring up at Taun still completely unable to read his expression.
“Welcome home, baby. I just bought it. For us. What do you think?”
I blinked in the early morning light. Taun was looking past me and when I followed the direction of his gaze I saw a lovely old house.
“It’s beautiful.” I replied honestly.
Taun suddenly scooped me up in his arms and, beaming a huge smile he said, “Oh baby I’m so glad you like it. It’s our new home. Yours and mine. I signed the contract with Carlo so it’s official now; you belong to me completely. I bought this house to celebrate and to begin our new life together.”
He carried me towards the house and across the threshold as though we were newlyweds and then placed me gently down on the ground. I looked around. No red cushion on its hydraulic platform to be seen. No chains hanging from the ceiling. No whipping posts.
Confused, I looked back at Taun. He was still beaming an overly happy smile as he walked towards a sofa that looked very expensive and smelled of new. He sat down and with his finger indicated that he wanted me to approach and sit on the floor at his feet. I did so, sinking into a luxuriously thick rug as I did so. Sitting on the floor wasn’t nearly so bad with a rug this comfortable although I still didn’t like the feeling of being treated like a pet puppy and it was reminding me too much of the meeting with Mr. Negulesco.
I had to force myself to accept the fact that Mr. Negulesco had lied to me. He had never cared for me at all. He just enjoyed hurting me, physically and emotionally and it probably amused him that I was so easy to fool. But I told myself that I wouldn’t be so stupid in the future. I wouldn’t let any man trick me like that again, not even Taun. Sure, they could force me to beg, they could order me to pretend I wanted them. But the next time I willingly showed or told man how excited, in need, and ready for him my body was, it would be because I knew for sure we both cared deeply for each other.
“The meeting with Carlo went very well.” Taun said, making me jump and wonder if he had set the scene on purpose to remind me of that meeting. He was still smiling and for a moment I wondered if I had just dreamed or imagined my stupid escape attempt after being used by Mr. Negulesco then dumped onto the floor. “The papers were signed and you now belong to me completely. You are mine, Clara. I know that is probably a frightening thought for you right now but you will come to accept it in time and perhaps even enjoy it.”
I wasn’t sure how that could possibly happen but I wasn’t about to contradict him.
Taun stroked my hair with a soft and gentle touch as he continued speaking. “I thought that your punishments had been successful; I thought you had learned your lesson and that you were sorry for what you had done to me. I was wrong, Clara, but you know what? I don’t blame you for that. I blame myself. I should have known you better. I am your owner, your master, and it is up to me to know you even better than you know yourself. I will no longer punish you. For anything. I don’t enjoy hurting you and I hate seeing you in pain and it isn’t right that I should suffer. You must be punished, of course, and you will be punished heavily. You betrayed me again, Clara. Do you realize that? Do you realize the trouble you are in and how much you are going to suffer for it? I don’t think you will ever be able to repay your debt to me now and I doubt I will ever trust or love you again but it’s not fair to me that I should be the one to punish you. When you are with me you will have a good time. We will share wonderful, happy moments together, filled with sunshine and love. We won’t talk of punishments or pain; we will only speak of pleasure and happiness. This house is locked and you may not leave it alone but within its walls you are free to move around as you please. There are only two rules to follow. You will remain naked at all times and you will do exactly as I say, immediately and without question. If you hesitate too long or you try and disobey me I will press this button here.”
I looked at Taun’s hand and he was holding what looked like a cell phone. A few moments later the front door opened and a large but extremely muscular man walked in and marched straight over towards us.
“Just a minute, please.” Taun held his hand up towards the man who stopped advancing immediately as though he were a remote controlled robot.
“This man is taking you to the Retreat, Clara. There you will be used and punished for what you did until I decide to come and get you. This time your visit there is to punish you for betraying me yet again. It will be a long and terrible time for you as Mr. Negulesco has agreed to arrange for some of the more sadistic men to visit you regularly. In the future your visits to the Retreat could be shorter, or even non-existant, depending on your behavior. That is entirely up to you. We will see how quickly you can learn to behave.” Then he turned to the men and nodded.
I cried out as the thug grabbed me and dragged me out of the house.
“Please Taun, please!” I begged as my heart slammed in my chest, pumping panic and fear though my veins in the place of blood.
Taun was standing up now, his arms folded across his chest, watching the man drag me down the front steps to his house. “Our” house. When he saw Taun he stopped moving but he held on to me so tightly I knew I’d be badly bruised.
“It’s too late, Clara. You’ve pissed me off too many times and I know now that I can never trust you ever again. I don’t care if you hate me; I don’t care if you love me. But I won’t let you leave me. You are mine; you belong to me and that will be true until the day you die. Remember that when you are screaming in agony at the hands of the Retreat Gentlemen. Remember that when they force you to come over and over again before throwing you away so they can fuck the next girl. Remember that when you wait, night after night, hoping I’ll come and get you soon, praying you won’t have to spend yet another day away from me and in the arms of some perverted stranger. And I will always come and get you, eventually. I will always come for you and bring you back with me and we’ll be happy together here in our cozy little home right next to the Gentleman’s Retreat. Until you misbehave again. And, sadly, I know you will. Goodbye Clara. Take her away. I can’t stand the sight of her any longer.”
Screaming, kicking, and crying I was dragged down the street a few feet before we heard Taun’s voice again and the thug stopped and looked back.
“Oh, and once you’ve made sure she’s safely locked away at the Retreat, I want you to track down that van. I think it has a rather serious mechanical fault and its owner might unfortunately be thrown from the vehicle and violently killed.”
Horror swept over me at Taun’s words and I couldn’t struggle anymore. I put up no resistance as I was half escorted, half carried along a wide, winding path up the hill to where the Gentleman’s Retreat loomed high above us, sickeningly close to the house.
That was a few weeks ago. Probably about a month. True to Taun’s word I have been tortured and raped almost every day since I got here. There is the occasional man who just wants to use me and not hurt me but that has been rare. And, as he promised, I am indeed hoping and praying desperately for Taun’s return.
He has won. I don’t love him; I don’t hate him. I just need to be with him because all other men will hurt me and he is the only man who can make me feel good.
Luckily my little room is still here so I can write to you, my wonderful friend. I have no one else to talk to. I think the other girls have been told to stay away or something because they don’t even make eye contact with me let alone smile or chat like they did before. I am so lonely and miserable! My only hope is that when Taun does eventually come to get me I will manage to be good enough and well behaved enough to not be sent here again. But surely that can’t be my only ray of hope? My only plan for future happiness?
No, my dear, sweet friend. Don’t worry about me! As sad and broken as I am right now I know I will find a way to make things okay. I will figure it out and make a plan. There’s still some small chance that one of the Gentlemen will fall in love with me and rescue me. Or that Taun’s security will fail and I’ll be able to escape his house. Or perhaps he’ll take me out one day and I’ll be able to slip away from him.
Yes, I’ll be okay. I just have to believe that!